Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Huckabee wants to change American constitution to fit god's standards.

Boy, sometimes I am glad that I am not an American. Their politicians are misguided and let their religions dictate their policy. One of the presidential candidates in the current election, republican Mike Huckabee has recently said that he would like to amend the constitution to be in line with god's standards.

"[Some of my opponents] do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it's a lot easier to change the constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that's what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards,"

I'm not sure that Mike Huckabee knows what he is saying here. Has he actually read the bible? He's a former pastor so I'm going to go ahead and assume that he has. So he should know that there are a lot of stupid ass rules in there, and if they were to amend their constitution and make all those stupid biblical rules law, their jails would fill up faster than Oprah at a buffet!

Here are some examples of the bible's dumb-ass rules:

Leviticus 19:19
"You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together."

Farmer's look out! God doesn't want you planting two different kinds of seed in your field. Also, are you someone who enjoys a nice cotton-poly blend? Forget about it. God does not want you wearing mixed fabrics! Apparently he is some kind of fashionista and thinks that blended fabrics are a fashion faux pas.

Deuteronomy 22:10
"Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together."

I don't see this situation coming up too often. But fuck, if people want to plow their fields with an ox and a donkey they should be allowed too! In fact it would be far more efficient than just an ox, or just a donkey. Does god have something against farming efficiency?

Deuteronomy 22:12
"Make tassels on the four corners of the cloak you wear."

God wants everyone to wear tassels for some reason. Actually that sounds kinda gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Leviticus 19:27
"Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard."

God hates goatees, he fucking hates them! Mohawks too...

1 Corinthians 11:14
"Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him"

God seems to have a lot of personal grooming tips. You know what other kinds of men have lots of personal grooming tips don't you...

Ephesians 6:5-6
"Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ."'

That's right, the bible condones slavery; so lets roll back the civil rights movement 200 years...

Deuteronomy 22:20-21
"If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from among you."

Need I say more...

This only scratches the surface of the stupid biblical rules. The bible is severely flawed, and is full of backward ass rules that are not applicable in today's world (or any world for that matter). It is by no means the basis for an important political document like a constitution.

I sure am glad that I live in Canada, were our government has nothing to do with religion. Oh wait it does, fucking government funded catholic schools...

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